How is this college admissions essay?

Answer by Terry Drinkwater:

I see a lot of SAT vocabulary here, a lot of flowery description of the cinema.  Something's missing, though: I don't see much of you anywhere in the essay.  I get a brief glimpse, a squirmy feeling of anticipation as the lights dim–and then you're gone, replaced by a movie screen and an impartial "we".

The college admissions officer has your SAT scores.  They're not asking about your vocabulary.  They want to know who you are–and whether you know who you are.
 
I know writing college essays is very difficult and stressful.  Introspection is not something society typically demands of high schoolers…until suddenly it's a key determinant of your college destination.  I remember how unpleasant that was for me, how bad at it I was.  So I'm going to use your choice of cinema to give you some advice on introspection.  It should help with the essay; more importantly, it's a valuable life skill.  I'm still learning it; maybe I can help you learn too.
 
Please don't take any of the following as implying judgment of any kind.


You like going to the theater.  Let's break it down.

You arrive at the theater.
Are you with friends?  Family?  By yourself?
How often do you go to the theater?  How regularly do you go to the theater?
How do you choose the movie?  Did you pick out the movie days or weeks ahead of time, did you look up the previews and reviews and ratings?  Do you go not knowing what you'll see, picking on a whim once you get there?  Do you go along with the suggestion of someone you trust, or a group vote?
 
You're through the doors.
How much time do you have?
Do you rush to get a good seat?
Do you head for the arcade?  The snack stand?  The bathroom?
Do you browse all the movie posters on the wall?  Will you choose one of them to keep an eye out for later?
 
You reach the auditorium.
Is the theater packed, anticipating the latest blockbuster?  Did you wait a few weeks after release for the crowds to die down?  Did you choose a less popular film, to avoid the crowds entirely?
Do you sit up front, as close as you can get to the screen?  The back, to get the fullest view?  2/3 of the way back, where the audio engineers sit when they balance the sound?  Wherever you can sit with all your friends?

What do you do while you wait?  Is this texting time, chattering time, reading time, popcorn time?  Do you talk to the strangers in the row in front of you?
 
The previews are finally over.  Movie's starting.
Do you watch all different kinds of movies?  Do you have a favorite genre?  Do you have favorite actors, actresses, directors, studios?
Are you watching for an immersive setting?  Intense plot?  Deep characters?  Amazing CGI?  Thrilling action?  Humor?  Themes?  Soundtrack?
Do you watch other people watch the movie?  Do you whisper to your friends?  Shout something on impulse?

Movie ends.  Credits roll.
Do you stick around for the credits, get the full experience?  Are you already in the parking lot?
Are you thinking about the movie's message?  Wiping away tears of sadness, or laughter?  Slapping your friend on the back as you get up?  Placing the movie on a 1-to-10 scale?  Heading to the bathroom?


Look back over that–that's what you do and experience at the theater.  Think about what you feel at each point during the experience, and why you feel that way.

Now you've reached the big question: Why do you go to the theater?  What do you get out of it?  Is it social, intellectual, emotional…or, for that matter, a place to put all that aside for a couple hours?


This is your introspection.  This is your essay material.  This is you.

Tell me about yourself.

(Discounting this line, the above answer is exactly 650 words.)

How is this college admissions essay?

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